Saturday, March 15, 2003

" to feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life -but to feel the affection that comes from those whom we do not know is something still greater and more beautiful.”
~Paublo Neruda
the friday five. what else?
1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not? it depends on whom i'm talking with. telemarketers, bible-thumpers, relatives (who will go unamed) -no. friends, family i like, hot boys -yes. i think the "why or why not" has been answered for itself.
2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? a.mcguigan last night. she invited me over for drinks with her mother.
3. About how many telephones do you have at home? three. two landlines (1 for me, 1 for m.mayo) and my mobile phone.
4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened? yes. our telephone number (at work) is one number off from a doctor's office. one morning a woman was trying to call the office to set an appointment, but kept getting us instead. she started yelling at me. it is not my fault if the other person on the line is too incompetent/has fat fingers to dial the correct number.
5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not? i'd love to pick up the phone and just call people, but i don't have the funds to do so. with e-mail, it's like a one-way conversation and i miss the interaction. letters are thoughful and sentimental, but take a while to reach the other person.

Friday, March 14, 2003

why am i so mean to my body?

beer before liquor, never been sicker. liquor before beer, never fear.

every college student knows that, so why didn't i follow it? oi vey....4 beers, along with a shot of tequila, and a slippery nipple inbetween those drinks. if that wasn't bad enough, i had some eggs and buscuits afterwards, which only made me feel worse. then my friends and i went to condomn-nation (a sex store), because they wanted to purchase a novelty or two -the smell inside this place is wretched.

the combination of alcohol, food, the smell of smoke and smut-store were all too much for my queasy stomach and i got sick. oh the humanity....

however, i did get to hang out with my friend's father at the bar (he also purchased all my drinks -he's not the typical father). and some gay boys told me i had rockin' glasses. one of the gay boys gave me his rainbow, raver-ish bracelet and exchanged telephone numbers with me. i also drunkenly called courtney a few times -i'm sorry!

Thursday, March 13, 2003

it's raining outside. is this god's way of bringing home to me?

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

people aren't nice to each other anymore. i've decided to make an effort to smile more often. say hello to strangers. try and make the world a better place.

it's amazing how just listening to someone -even a stranger- can make a difference.

yesterday evening, on my way to the 61c, a man stopped me and asked for a dollar. i told him i was sorry and that i didn't have any spare money. he continued to talk to me for a bit, then paused mid-sentence and said, "thank you for stopping to listen. no one ever stops or gives a second glance."

it was a bittersweet compliment.

there are so many times when i've been "too busy". irritated. selfish. i disgust myself when i think about it.

i don't want my apathetic attitude/nature...my complacency...to be confused with compliance. i'm going to have to wok on changing that, because otherwise, i am agreeing to whatever "system(s)" i am trying to break away from. knowledge without action has no power.
i need to cause more mischief. be more daring and stupid. carpe diem it. maybe i'd have more fun in my life if i did. i'm so boring and i feel that i'm living a lie because others say they find me interesting. am i missing something about myself?
i think i'm one of the most irritable people in the world. i just seem to hide it well.
many people seem to talk for the sake of drowing out silence. i actually like it, the silence.

however, i fall into talking for no apparent reason when i'm out in public spaces. maybe it's fear that others will notice. the inner pull to conform. i don't know.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

damn republicans are so petty. and how stupid does asking for "freedom fries" sound? pretty damn stupid, i say.

Sunday, March 09, 2003

scary thought: i'm growing old.

it being an incredibly lovely saturday, g.gilson and i decided to have a picnic and play a game of scrabble in the park. i must say, the two of us were quite adorable (and dorky).

we decided to stop and swing, however, we didn't last long. we both started feeling nauseous...we think it was motion sickness. this upsets me highly. when did i become too old to play?
a cd of tegan and sara songs (with two norah jones tracks) since i missed the actual live show on 03/03/03. incredibly cute and thoughtful. highly appreciated. 5 bonus points to you.
j.lauten & p.beauchemin said i was cool. like saved by the bell, zach morris, cool.
there are certain topics i wish i could discuss with people, but i can't. i have to carefully pick and choose whom i can share with and make sure it's on a tete-a-tete situation.

i made the mistake of sharing something with a friend. she hasn't blabbed to anyone; however, there are times when we're in a group and she'll make a face or comment that could easily push people to think certain things, hence making me feel uncomfortable. this is why i'm so glad that k.murray is back and that we've had a chance to "debrief".

another reassuring point: k.murray knew before i even told her.
the (often late) friday five:

1. What was the last song you heard? when you were mine, tegan & sara
2. What were the last two movies you saw? the hours and but i'm a cheerleader
3. What were the last three things you purchased? a nalgene bottle, gray chatham sweatpants, and a dixie chicks cd (for a.maxwell)
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? the weekend is over, but i had to do lighting for waiting for godot, do a take-home midterm, sleep, and have some alone time.
5. Who are the last five people you talked to? k.murray, m.mayo, g.gilson, w.wong, a.lock